does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
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