remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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