Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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