I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Randomize
