We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Randomize
