Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
