I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I smell like Dick and happiness
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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