I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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