I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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