Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
