aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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