i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize