we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
