don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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