They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
