Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Randomize
