:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
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