guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
