She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
