Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
