hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
