I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
