He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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