How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Randomize
