just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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