Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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