Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
