Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
