He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
