I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I think I sprained my soul last night
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
