"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
