Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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