u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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