How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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