It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Sober January is a disaster.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize