sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
