Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
