Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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