Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
