All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
