the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
we made out on top of his cat.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
