Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
