Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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