Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Randomize
