How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
