btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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