Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
honey bunches of taint.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Randomize
