Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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