i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
