I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
