Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
