I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
