3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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