I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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