pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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