I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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