Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
