i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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