Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Farmville is her only friend.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
