they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
