When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
