I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
