Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
