So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
