Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
