he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I'm at about main and main street
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
